To deliver or not to deliver. That is the question. Now, if you are one of the rare parents who has never received the oh-so pathetic call begging, “Please sir, can I have some lunch?” than this will be a glimpse for you into the lives of the rest of us. The population of parent who, though trying our very best on most days, still forgets some of the difficult details that go into family management.
Who was supposed to take out the trash? This one usually treats the neighbors to the panicked, jammie-clad leap from bed, startled into action by the soothing sounds of Waste Management trucks beeping their way down the street. Which one of us is supposed to be the tooth fairy? When my daughter came to me at age 7 and negotiated a one time pay out for all upcoming tooth transactions, I went ahead and conceeded to being the worst T.F. in history. But, I did take heart in her business savvy skills. And for the love of all things, who is supposed to guarantee that the children have their lunches for school? This is a big one. So what, the trash piles up for one more week. A lost tooth goes unfunded. No big deal. But, the growling belly during the long school day can actually change a child’s (not to mention teacher’s) mood significantly.
Studies tell us that a well nourished belly is a well nourished brain. When we take in nutrients, the body goes into triage. First, the basic body functions, like a pumping heart and working lungs are fed. Once those are adequately supplied, the body uses leftover nutrients to grow. Only then, do the learning and social development occur. When our kids have a good breakfast and are certain of a healthy dinner, we are not developing food insecurity. But, we all know the feeling of being hungry in the middle of a long day. That breakfast will fuel the necessary functions of the body but might not be enough to kick in for the high quality learning and general good mood that comes from proper, daily nutrition. So, obviously, when you get the call about a forgotten lunch, you deliver it, right?
On the other hand, what about developing good habits of self reliance? It won’t be long before these kids are living in another zip code, feeding themselves and taking care of their own needs. Truly. It might seem far away, but it’s right around the corner. There is a popular movement away from “helicopter” parenting urging us to no longer do for our children certain things they can do for themselves. It argues that by letting our kids escape natural consequences, we are missing out on great opportunities to build resilience and confidence. When that lunch is sitting on the counter at home, consider the morning. How much time was spent looking at a phone, or a TV or generally just staring into space? A little growl in the belly during the afternoon might be the way to motivate someone to delay the morning You Tube fix until after all their work is done.
When kids come to the office and ask to call home for a forgotten lunch, of course, we say yes. And then the phone odyssey begins! Inevitably, a parent is blamed for forgetting to send a lunch. We, in the office, like to take this opportunity to point out that maybe that unreliable parent should be fired from the job and who better to own that daily responsibility than the hungry shareholder?
So, to deliver or not to deliver? That remains the question!